The easiest way to lose something is to want it too much

Forgive me for liking you too much, I’ll forgive you for not liking me enough.
Forgive me for the loud racing of my heart, I’ll forgive you for not hearing it.

Forgive me for finding you amazing, I’ll forgive you for never noticing.

Forgive me for wanting to be with you more than anything, I’ll forgive you for avoiding me.

Forgive me for being so pathetic, I’ll forgive you for taking advantage of it.

Forgive me for not being able to let go, I’ll forgive you for never holding on.

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It’s the worst feeling in the world to love and hate someone all at the same time. And it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It’s funny but stupid how you want everything & nothing at the same time. It’s crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and when you want to move on but you’re stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can’t decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don’t know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them further and further away. It’s so hard to think back to how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different and they may never be the same. You tell yourself it’s not worth it, but if it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about it.

(dedicated to my friends)